There’s a certain magic to the holiday season, whether you’re all-in on the decorations and the family time or a self-proclaimed Scrooge from mid-November to the New Year. But when you’re trying to conceive, it can be a challenging time. Your mailbox might be stuffed with holiday cards emblazoned with adorable family photos, seasonal movies and shows put the spotlight on parents and children, and your family might have zero issues asking you point-blank when you’re going to have a baby. All of these reminders that you aren’t yet pregnant can be… a lot. But you aren’t doomed to screening calls and eating pumpkin pie in bed for two straight months (unless that’s exactly what you want, in which case you have our blessing). We’re sharing five tips for managing the holidays when you’re trying to conceive.
Say No Thanks
This is a social time of year, but newsflash: You don’t have to attend every single gathering. Give yourself the freedom to pick and choose what you do this year, especially if you find it really difficult to spend time with pregnant and/or parents of little ones. It’s an entirely normal reaction to be happy for someone else and really sad for yourself, so decline the invitations to kid-focused events or plan to arrive after the kids will be in bed. We’ll encourage you not to say no to everything, but being choosey is entirely acceptable.
Gift Yourself a Social Media Sabbatical
Everything is sunshine and roses on the socials, but we all know that’s not real life, right? The trouble is, it’s really easy to forget that when you’re staring at another adorable family portrait. Give yourself a mental break from the mindless scrolling and endless posts that have the potential to send you right into a spiral of despair, and actively avoid social media until the New Year. Think of all the curated holiday porch pics you’ll be spared!
Prep Your Response Ahead of Time
Chances are good that some well-intentioned but clueless relative will at some point ask you about your plans for a baby. Of course, nobody deserves an answer to that highly intrusive level of prying and you’d be well within your right to play deaf or just walk away. But planning how you and your partner might respond in this scenario can keep you both from feeling caught off-guard. So together, come up with a plan of action. Maybe you want to completely change the subject. Maybe you have a canned response that answers the question (but doesn’t really the question). Maybe you want to be direct and honest. Whatever you decide, you’ll feel better prepared to face family and friends if you know how to tackle this situation.
If TTC is a particularly sensitive topic for you, you may also find it worthwhile to figure out a response in the event of a baby announcement from someone else. Many people choose holiday gatherings to announce a new pregnancy, and your reaction may reflect more of your own feelings than your happiness for someone else. Thinking through the possibility can help you feel like you haven’t been ambushed, especially if you’re keeping your own TTC news quiet.
Take Care of Yourself
This is sort of a part two to our first tip, but it’s important enough that it bears repeating. It’s perfectly acceptable to put your own needs first. If you’re feeling emotionally fragile and the holiday gathering ahead feels positively overwhelming, bow out! Listen to yourself. Take care of yourself. After all, preconception health plays an enormous role in all the things to come. If you’re actively trying to get pregnant, that means it’s really important to be mindful about supporting your body and mind. Remember that your fertility health is directly tied to your overall health, and being proactive with the things that are in your control can be empowering. We cover the importance of taking care of your preconception health in detail, but let’s quickly run through the highlights:
- Start taking a daily prenatal vitamin to ensure a steady source of key micronutrients that help support the processes behind reproduction in both women and men. We formulated Beli for Women and Beli Vitality for Men™ with key nutrients for fertility health—everything you need, and nothing you don’t.
- Find healthy outlets to manage stress, which can make it really difficult to successfully conceive.
- Eat well and hydrate properly to support and nourish your body.
- Get regular exercise, since humans really aren’t designed for sedentary lifestyles.
Of course, it is the holiday season, so the occasional drink or rich meal isn’t going to destroy your chances of conceiving. Just remember — everything in moderation.
Get Some Darn Sleep
Everything is so much worse when you’re tired, so do your very best to get at least seven hours of sleep at night. Yes, that can be a big ask, but there are a zillion guides and websites that will enlighten you to the magic of sleep hygiene. When you’re well rested, you’re far better positioned to manage your own emotions and you may find you have a little more patience and tolerance, too. Plus, getting enough sleep is one of the healthy habits experts encourage couples to embrace during TTC.
The Takeaway
When you’re trying to conceive, everything can feel heightened with emotion. The holidays are no exception and may even be the trickiest time of year. Between nosy relatives, back-to-back parties and celebrations, and surprise pregnancy announcements from some other happy couple, the holiday season can really highlight the fact that you still don’t have a baby. So cut yourself a little slack. Bow out when you don’t feel up to it, step away from social media, and plan how to respond if you are cornered and interrogated by your great aunt. If you decide that bailing on that cookie-decorating party in favor of a nap is the best idea, we totally agree.