We’ve all been there. Between responsibilities at home and at work, commitments that just keep piling up, and a mile-long to-do list, sex may be on your mind, but only in a vague, wouldn’t-that-be-nice kind of way. You’re not alone. The busier we are, the more likely it is for our libidos to nosedive. And for men hoping to become fathers, you might be stressing that your waning sex drive is signaling a problem with your fertility (spoiler: not necessarily). Still, it’s true that a man’s fertility and his libido are linked, so let’s hop into all the details, including 4 ways to rev up that sex drive.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- It’s normal for a man’s libido, or sex drive, to fluctuate, because it’s affected by a range of physical and mental factors
- Despite what pop culture tells us, there is no such thing as a “normal” libido. It varies from one guy to the next and will change over his lifetime.
- Libido and male fertility are linked, in that some of the factors affecting a man’s sex drive can also impact his fertility.
- The best way to increase a man’s libido is by addressing the physical, mental and emotional factors that are dragging his sex drive down.
Hi, I’m Your Libido
Lots of guys equate erections with raging libidos, but that’s a little inaccurate. The libido, or sex drive, isn’t a physical sign of arousal, like an erection. It’s the mental component, the part of your brain that sees something and responds, sending up flares left and right that you’re ready to get down and dirty. Despite what popular culture may have you believe, it’s totally normal for a man’s libido to wax and wane based on what’s going on in his life. In fact, physical and mental factors directly affect your libido, including but not limited to things like your lifestyle, physical health, state of mind, hormone levels, medications, general life stressors, and definitely relationship issues.
That’s an important call out for guys who put a lot of pressure on themselves to always be up for it. Your sex drive is sensitive and reactive, so don’t beat yourself up if you’re in a bit of a libido dip. Remember, there’s actually no such thing as a “normal” libido. They vary wildly in the general population, from really high to quite low, and it’s not uncommon for a man’s sex drive to change throughout the course of his life. Men have a biological clock too, and testosterone production slows as men get older. It’s a key hormone for a high sex drive, so as one drops, so can the other.
It’s not just waning hormones or work-life commitments that can diminish a man’s sex drive. Medical conditions tend to become a bigger issue the older we get. Common health issues, including weight gain, diabetes, high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease are all associated with a lower libido. Substance abuse, stress, sleep issues and chronic illness can all wreak havoc on your sex drive too.
The Link Between a Man’s Sex Drive & His Fertility
First, the good news. A low sex drive doesn’t automatically mean you have fertility issues. So, you know, deep breath. But, in not-so-good news, it is true that low libido and male fertility can be linked. Specifically, some of the things that have an affect on your sex drive can also impact a man’s fertility:
- Testosterone deficiencies
- Older age
- Erectile dysfunction
- Sleep issues
- Obesity
There’s an inverse relationship too. Guys who are dealing with infertility may be stressed enough that it impacts their sex drive. That’s because stress releases cortisol, the fight-or-flight hormone that you definitely want when you’re being chased by a bear, but not when you’re hoping to get horizontal. Unfortunately, cortisol absolutely torpedoes sex drive. The same can be true when sex becomes a chore, which tends to happen with couples who have been trying for some time to conceive. Often, they struggle to keep their sex life spontaneous and fun, which can also put a damper on a man’s libido.
4 Ways to Increase a Man’s Libido
Fortunately, there are ways to increase a man’s libido, and they largely involve dealing with all of those physical, mental and emotional issues that are dragging your sex drive down. While that while obviously be personal to everyone, since we all have our issues, here are four worth focusing on.
- Address and manage stress. Who isn’t stressed? Just living life in this day and age can be tough, and it’s really important to spend time dealing with the fall out. Maybe that means taking up yoga, using an app for some guided meditation or breathwork, playing racquetball once a walk, or talking to a therapist. Find something that works and then stick with it.
- Get some sleep. We’re all busy, and most of us are quick to sacrifice sleep when our responsibilities start piling up. It’s a mistake. Sleep is non-negotiable for making all the other parts of your life function properly, sex drive included. If you have a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep, get on the sleep hygiene train. Basically, it’s a series of behaviors that cue the body that it’s time to wind down. Your routine may involve a warm shower, reading and maybe a cool sunset clock. Just try your best to be consistent with bedtimes and wake-up times, and remember that people sleep best in cool, dark, quiet environments. And ditch the smartphone about an hour before bed–that blue light suppresses melatonin production, the hormone that tells your body it’s time to sleep.
- Get some exercise. This is a twofer. Not only does regular exercise boost your physical and mental health, which increases your sex drive, it can also improve your sperm health.
- Talk it out. Lean on your partner! There is so much power in talking things out, so make a point of sitting down with your partner to share how you feel.
It’s no coincidence that all of the steps you can take to increase your libido are also recommended for increasing sperm quality If you’re looking to become a dad, we’ll go ahead and add one more to the list–swapping out the multivitamin for a high-quality men’s prenatal vitamin.
Yes, men benefit from prenatals, and Beli Vitality for Men is a standout. It’s an ultra-clean, ultra-specialized formula with nutrients clinically shown to support and promote optimal sperm health. It’s also the only men’s prenatal on the market with shilajit. This Ayurvedic adaptogen works wonders on sperm, but it has a bevy of side perks, including increased energy, better focus and cognitive function, and improved athletic performance. Just saying!
The Bottom Line
It’s normal to notice dips in your libido, and just knowing that can help defuse what might be an otherwise anxiety-ridden experience—especially if you’re thinking about becoming a dad. A drop in your sex drive doesn’t necessarily mean you’re experiencing fertility issues. Try addressing all of the factors in your life that could be dampening your libido, and see if things don’t pick up.
