A guide to fertility issues beyond the clinical definition
Anne Hathaway said something a few years ago that's stuck with a lot of us since: "I think that we have a very one-size-fits-all approach to getting pregnant."
She was right then. She's still right now.
Hathaway has been candid about both of her pregnancies not being "a straight line." When she announced her second son, she didn't just share the bump pic. She wrote, "For everyone going through infertility and conception hell, please know it was not a straight line to either of my pregnancies. Sending you extra love." And later, talking to the Associated Press, she put words to something so many people feel and so few people say out loud: "The steps that lead up to that part of the story are really painful and very isolating and full of self-doubt. And I went through that."
That quote is the whole reason we're writing this.
Is "fertility issues" the same as "infertility"?
No. Infertility is a specific medical diagnosis, generally defined as not conceiving after 12 months of trying (or 6 months for women over 35). Fertility issues is a broader term that includes:
- Pregnancy loss or miscarriage
- Unexplained delays in conceiving that don't meet the 12-month threshold
- Irregular ovulation or cycle tracking difficulty
- Male factor fertility issues, involved in roughly 40 to 50 percent of couples trying to conceive
- PCOS, low ovarian reserve, and other conditions that complicate but don't always prevent conception
- The emotional and relational strain of trying to conceive, independent of any diagnosis
None of that requires a diagnosis to be real. It just requires it to be hard.
What are common experiences people don't talk about during the trying-to-conceive process?
A few things worth naming, because naming them is part of feeling less alone in them:
- The two-week wait. The period between ovulation and a missed period, often described as the most anxious stretch of the cycle.
- Comparison fatigue. Difficulty processing others' pregnancy announcements while still trying yourself, even from people you love.
- Diagnostic ambiguity. Receiving normal test results with no clear explanation for why conception hasn't happened yet.
- Partner asymmetry. Two people in the same relationship having very different experiences of the same month, since only one partner carries the physical experience.
- Social isolation. The reluctance to share what's happening, often because the outcome is still unknown and the story feels unfinished.
Hathaway's point about the "one-size-fits-all approach" is really a point about all of this. The cultural story is: you decide, you try, you announce. The real story, for a lot of people, has a lot more chapters in between.
What should couples consider if they're trying to conceive?
A few practical things, not a checklist to add pressure, just starting points:
- Track cycles with intention. Understanding ovulation timing and cycle length helps establish a baseline before assuming something is wrong.
- Involve both partners early. Since male fertility factors play a role in close to half of cases, fertility is rarely a one-person issue.
- Talk to a doctor before a full year passes if something feels off. Waiting for the official 12-month mark isn't required to start a conversation.
- Be specific when asking for or offering support. Hathaway's "you have a sister in me" landed because it wasn't vague. It was a direct offer of company. General reassurance is kind. Specific support is more useful.
- Know that normal test results don't rule out a real struggle. Many people navigating fertility challenges never receive a formal diagnosis.
Why we're telling you this
At Beli, we built our prenatal and fertility support around couples because we believe what Hathaway said in her own way: the story is rarely a straight line, and it's almost never a one-person story.
If you're in the middle of your own version of this right now, you're not behind, you're not broken, and you're not the only one. The timeline you imagined and the timeline you're living might be two different things. That gap is not a verdict on you.
You have a sister in this too.